is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
