You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
