yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
