ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My legs feel like baby dolphins
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
