I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
