This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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