I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
