Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
