I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
