There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
