maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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