dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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