Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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