sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
