thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
