I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
