Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
