You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
