Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
