wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You are a genius and a whore.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
