Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
