She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just puked most of my soul out..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
