You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
