Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
