Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
