my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
