my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
