with your own penis?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
