i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
