I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
