im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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