I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
