I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
