so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
and she was petting her beer can
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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