Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
