so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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