Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
