In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
