I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
