I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
