Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
