And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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