I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
