One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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