Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
