I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
