she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
