Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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