We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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