Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
