Taylor Swift is so right about you.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
