Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my sisters under your porch take her home
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
