PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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